1 and 0

Sometimes I dream of saving the world. Saving everyone from the invisible hand. One that brands us with an employee badge. The one that forces us to work for them. The one that controls us every day without us knowing it. But I can’t stop it. I’m not that special. I’m just anonymous. I’m just alone…

I paused my laptop, I thought I heard my phone ring. It wasn’t ringing. It’s weird I always feel like my phone is ringing when it isn’t and when it actually does, I never hear.

It’s 2.30 in the afternoon. The ceiling fan is going about at its top speed but it makes no difference. It is so hot. My phone shows 34°c. 

The curtains kept flapping on the window. I had closed them to avoid glare.

The house is utterly silent. I can hear the soft whir of the fan. I can hear water falling from a leaky tap somewhere, one drop at a time. A dog was barking in the distance. A few kids were running around outside the apartment.

There was an occasional murmur from the other room. My cousin must be watching a movie or talking to someone on the phone. It must be the movie, he is not the kind who talks on the phone much.

The clothes I washed in the morning are out drying in the balcony.

The Count of Monte Cristo, by Alexander Dumas was lying beside me on the bed, face down. I thought I’d up the level of books I read…I was tired of all the fiction. So I had bought this book along with a couple others. But it is so boring. I couldn’t read beyond 3 pages. I put it down without even book marking it.

I turned back to my laptop to hit the play button. My eyelids drooped a little. The heavy lunch was beginning to take its toll. I slouched a little more on the bed.

I had two choices. Hit the play button and continue watching Mr. Robot or shut the laptop and take a nap.

Life is binary. It always was and always will be.

1 and 0.

Good and bad.

Yes and no.

Rich and poor.

There is no gray area. It only complicates things. Life is not that complicated. It is pretty simple. 1 and 0.

I had to choose one option now. I had to make my decision.

Hit the play button or not? Fight the stupor and continue watching or concede to it and go to sleep?

The fan was still whirring, the curtains still flapping. The dog was still barking. I couldn’t hear the children anymore, they probably went inside their houses.

We have always been taught to not give up. Our parents, our teachers, the movie we watch, the books we read, the athletes we adore…everybody tells us not to give up. Everybody tells us to be strong. Don’t be weak. Fight. Fight and overcome. All our lives, we keep hearing ‘never give up’. 

Well I gave up. I crumbled face down on my bed. Like a pack of cards. My eyes closed themselves. I let go. I slept. I slept like a baby.

And that…was my Saturday afternoon.  How was yours?